There are lots and lots of big decisions that every Mom-To-Be has to make once she finds out that she’s expecting, regardless of whether or not she’s been down this road before or not. “Should I find out the gender? What will I name this baby? How should I decorate the nursery? How/when will we share the news? Should I breast/bottle feed?” The list is endless. Some decisions will be easy to make, some considerably harder. Hell, I’ve known couples that have bickered between themselves regarding the child’s name to the point that their baby was known as “Baby ________” to the nursing staff until the day Mommy/Baby were discharged home!
Some decisions, such as deciding whether to decorate the nursery in butterflies or ladybugs (while seeming to be of vast importance at the time), aren’t all that important in the grand scheme of things. I mean let’s face it, that kid isn’t going to even sleep in their room for several months anyway – and when she does, she won’t give a rat’s ass which adorable insect Mommy thought would suit her personality. Just sayin…
Truth be told, one of the most monumental decisions you as a pregnant woman will EVER make is the choosing of which obstetrician (OB) or midwife will be handling not only your maternal care, but also the delivery of your unborn child.
(Here in the good ol’ US of A, maternal care/delivery is handled almost exclusively by OBs, although the practice of midwifery (yes, that’s a real word) is making a comeback on a grand scale. Outside of the US however, almost ALL care of the “mommy/baby type” is carried out by midwives unless it is deemed medically necessary for you to be delivered by an OB.)
Like most other women I know, I began talking with good friends who had delivered locally, to get an idea of who I might ask to deliver my baby. I decided to go with an OB named Dr. Mark Lobaugh, who had come very highly recommended by a friend whom had just delivered a baby with him less than six months earlier. So I made my appointment and everything started flowing smoothly.
Fast forward 12 weeks.
It was finally time for the long awaited anatomy scan at 20 weeks gestation! I was technically 21 weeks, since it took a week to get in for an appointment. I had been feeling baby moving/kicking since week 17, so I wasn’t concerned AT ALL. I made my appointment at the local hospital and went in for my scan. Since my husband was deployed to Afghanistan, my mother came with me to find out if our little one was a he or a she.
We were over the moon! Mother’s Intuition had told me that we were expecting a girl, but I try not to put too much stock in something I can’t see with my own eyes. But there was no denying it after the results of the scan! According to the sonographer, Abbi was a little one (weighing in at a whopping 1 pound 4 oz) and was only in the 15th percentile for growth. (If you’re not sure, that means that she was bigger than only 15% of all other babies at 21 weeks gestation.) I asked the sonographer if that was an issue and was told that my OB would most likely move my due date back a week, but that she saw that all the time. She finished her scan and told me that I should hear something by the end of the week from my doctor, and Mom and I went about our merry way!
Fast forward another week and a half. I’m now almost 23 weeks.
I still haven’t heard a peep from Dr Lobaugh’s office. My loving 2.5 year old has brought home a rotten summer cold so I decided to use that as my excuse to come in and ask him about my anatomy scan results. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Abbi was so little and measuring a week behind. Since the hospital was next door to my OBs office, I decided to stop by and get a copy of the radiology report and read it for myself (to put my mind at ease) while I wait for my appointment.
That’s the moment –
The radiology report states that my daughter has what is called a Two-Vessel Cord (there are usually 3 vessels in the umbilical cord), and that it is suspected that she also has Right Renal Agenesis; that means that the right kidney is missing entirely.
You mean to tell me that Dr Lobaugh’s office has had a copy of this report for almost two weeks and they haven’t CALLED me yet? Y’all. I lost it. Tears, snot, the whole works. When the nurse calls me back, it was obvious that I was “in distress.”
So then I get back into the room to wait for Dr Lobaugh, and he walks in immediately after I do. He looks me dead in the face and tells me that this is the first time he’s even READ the report. Apparently, if the radiologist at the hospital doesn’t call him about an ultrasound, he doesn’t even bother to read the results of the anatomy scan until the next time he sees the patient.
But it wasn’t. Here I was sitting all by myself, listening to this Ass Hat tell me what I had already read for myself; my daughter’s cord was different (the cord issue in and of itself isn’t a terribly big deal, since she IS getting nourishment from it), and that it appeared that her right kidney was missing. He wanted me to get in to see a Maternal-Fetal Medicine doctor right away (that’s the high risk doctor.) He then tells me that I shouldn’t worry; lots of healthy babies are born with only one kidney and live full, healthy lives.
Like that excuses the fact that you didn’t even bother to read a simple report that you’d had for almost two weeks. Dick.
That was the last time I set foot in Dr Lobaugh’s office. I used his office staff to submit the insurance paperwork and referrals to have my appointment with the Maternal-Fetal Medicine doctor covered – that’s it. I didn’t even bother to cancel my last appointment. I switched OBs to a different office completely. Do/say whatever you want to me.
Don’t screw with my children.