Ya know, I was gonna get on here and complain about how many BFNs I got today, and while I will still post the pictures, I read something this morning that put things into perspective a little more clearly. Upon my advise, my good friend Jenny began a blog to journal her third round of IVF. (She is the beautiful soul to whom I dedicated my entire blog to.) Today is the day for her; the day where she will begin her third round of IVF. That doesn’t mean that today she’ll go to the doctor, sign in, put on a hospital gown, and BOOM – she walks our carrying two babies. No, that’s not how it works. She will spend the entire month getting ready for her third embryo transfer. Then mid-month in September, she will go back to the doctor’s office, where they will then transfer two 5-day embryos into the lining of her uterus, thus thrusting her head first into her TWW.
And here I sit, complaining like a schoolgirl who’s not gotten her way on the playground. I feel like a fool. There are so many other women out there who are going through round after round of failed IUI/IVF, silently carrying an unimaginably heavy load upon their shoulders. God sure has a way of humbling you when you least expect it, ya know??
Onto bigger, more depressing topics – like my HPTs for the morning …
That particular OSOM was taken with SMU somewhere around 10:00 this morning. I had every intention to POAS with this morning’s SMU and then not again until if/when AF was late. But I was once again slapped with a terrible case of “Line Eye,” which as most avid TTC-ers know is where you desperately want to see a line so badly that your eyes imagine one. So I made a mad dash to the Dollar Tree (money at Frosty Acres is a little too tight to pee on a heap of FRERs right now) and picked up ten of their little cheapies. Dollar Tree (at least in my location) has a combination of two different HPTs and it seems that it depends on who does their restock ordering as to which one you may get. There is the VeriQuick brand HPT that comes in a very thin box, usually hanging in the impulse buying section located next to the registers; that is the only brand I was able to obtain this morning.
Don’t be alarmed if you see this brand of test at the Dollar Tree but the case containing the test strip is a very thin rectangular shape instead of being slightly wider at both ends; they have recently redesigned the cases to be more ergonomic, I think. Most of the women I’ve come in contact with (myself included) do not care much for the new case, as it makes it a bit more difficult to read the test. It is still “officially” over 99% accurate at detecting the typical amount of HcG in a woman’s body around the time she misses her period. Why am I using them almost 4 days before AF is due for me? Because I’m broke and a glutton for punishment it seems. I know you’re just dying to see the results from this test, so indulge yourself!
As aforementioned, the Dollar Tree has another brand of HPT that I (and almost every other woman I know) prefer 100x more than the VeriQuick brand I got stuck with this morning. The brand is called New Choice and in my humble opinion, they are one of the very best HPTs on the market. They are officially rated at 20 mIU, but I personally know many people who have gotten a BFP with levels less than 15 mIU. They are only a dollar (I just realized that you can order them online rather than having to drag your butt all the way to the Dollar Tree with a toddler in tow – oh, wait. That’s just me.), and I just love them. I have several friends who have gotten their BFPs on the New Choice HPTs days before a FRER picked up on the HcG!
*A word of caution when using a New Choice HPT: I know it’s tempting, but don’t put any stock into a result that shows up after the 10 minute time frame. These may be great HPTs, but they’re notorious for evaps. I get one on almost every test! While a true BFP will usually darken over time, a line that shows up on one of the New Choice HPTs after the time frame can’t be considered a BFP. The evaps on these tests aren’t always grey/thin – I’ve gotten some that looked very much like a positive result.*
So after dashing my hopes for this cycle, I’ve finally come to a decision. Before Matt left for Korea, my doctor at the Army hospital where we’re station stated that if we don’t have much success in the first few cycles after his return, he’d like to send me to San Antonio to see the fertility specialists at the Army hospital there since we were TTC for 9 months before he ever deployed. Since Matt positively hates “going” in a cup, he’s been pretty close minded about possibility of IUI/IVF. He also feels that since we were able to conceive John the “good ol’ fashioned way” that we won’t need help this time. We’ve talked about it several times, and last night I brought it up again – I told him that I’d like to journey to San Antonio is we didn’t get pregnant this cycle. He of course, is so positive about the whole thing it makes me want to just puke sometimes! He lovingly said, “You’re NOT gonna start your period this month! We need to be positive!” So I conceded that I was positive but wanted to be prepared for the worst case scenario. He agreed. So I called the GYN today and scheduled an appointment with the doctor who prescribed me the Femara for the 31st of August; I should know 110% by then if we made a baby this month, and if we didn’t I will have him send in the referral for me to go and see an actual fertility specialist. *sigh* Gosh, I hope I’m not one of the women who ends up needing multiple rounds of IVF to finish our family; I haven’t the strength that Jenny has…
So I was talking to my sister about seeing the fertility specialist, but only once I can for sure say that I’m not pregnant. What does she do?? Shows up at my Mother’s house with two boxes of blue dye midstream tests! One is the store brand comparable to e.p.t +/- and the other is the store brand comparable to a FRER. (The | | test is the same ones that I got my false positive on last cycle, so I’m skeptical right off the bat of any results I get.) I told her I’d use them first thing in the mornjng, but she insisted I use them right now! So I did …
I’ve included pictures of each test before and after the 10 minute time frame to read the results had expired, to show how they dried. (I have to say that the results were a bit surprising, but I’m not putting any faith in them until I see some progression.)