5 DPO – August 2015

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Right on schedule, the Anxiety Express has arrived at Frosty Acres today. I was hoping that since I had done so well up until now, that I’d be able to remain relatively sane through this TWW. I should’ve known better!

Like I mentioned yesterday, 5 DPO is usually when I start really feeling anxious. After much research and reflection, I am convinced that the majority of the jittery anxiousness stems from two things. The first possibility is that once Mr/Ms Eggy is fertilized in your fallopian tubes, he/she begins the unbelievably long journey (at least it’s a long journey to the baby in your belly that is only one hundredth of an inch long) through the fallopian tubes and into your uterus, beginning the implantation process of burrowing into the soft, squishy lining of your uterus anywhere between 6-12 DPO. Once the adorable blob of dividing cells is nice and snuggled down into the uterine lining, it immediately begins releasing HcG into your bloodstream which then spills over into your bladder. (And in case you’ve dumped the biology class from high school, HcG is the hormone that HPTs are testing for.)

The second possibility for my “hot mess-ness” on 5 DPO (which to be realistic about things is more of a PROBAbility than a POSSibility), is that I am simply a crazy ass POASaholic who knows that her box of pregnancy test cards with a 20 mIU sensitivity will be here in 3 days! Wait – I forgot!! I’ve been reading/hearing a lot of great reviews of a hospital grade pregnancy test called the OSOM HcG Card Pregnancy Test and I decided to bite the bullet (they’re rather expensive) and order a box to try. The box I ordered is strictly the card/cassette urine HcG test; OSOM also makes an HcG Card Combo Test with which you are able to use urine (20 mIU sensitivity) or blood serum (10 mIU sensitivity), and a dip-strip urine test (25 mIU.) Buzz on “the Net” is that OSOMs do not get evaps. Like, ever. Now I have run across a few ladies who swear up and down that their OSOM gave them a false BFP, but the vast majority of ladies who’ve used them and written a review of them have given them AMAZING reviews! These tests are extremely sensitive, and from what I’ve seen, they often pick up HcG in quantities of less than 10 mIU!! That being said, they generally will also pick up a chemical pregnancy when other brands of HPTs might not. These bad fellas are unlike any HPT I’ve ever seen before – they have black dye instead of pink or blue!! Like most HPTs, the instructions say to read the results within 3 minutes and discard anything seen after this time frame; as a woman who’s spent more years than I’d care to share dealing with infertility, I say they can take their 3 minutes and shove it where God Himself wouldn’t dare look for it! I’ll take any line I can get! (Not for nothin’ but I’ve also read that many women had their OSOMs take up to an hour to give them a BFP in the very early days.)

So 5 DPO is wrapping up, and soon it’ll be time to hit the hay. I started my vaginal progesterone suppositories last night, and now checking my CM is almost out of the question entirely. It’s damn near impossible to get an accurate interpretation. The progesterone increase has been giving me the weirdest, incredibly vivid dreams and every single one of them has one of my friends/family members finding out at some point that they’re pregnant. I’ve almost never dreamed about getting a BFP. Maybe tonight it’ll be my turn to enter Dreamland and receive the news I so long to hear …

Oh, and does anyone else find themselves incredibly gassy around this time in their TWW? I’ve been farting like a man all damn night and I swear, judging by the smell escaping my ass you’d think I’d been eating out of a fast food dumpster for the last week! Thank God my “loving” husband goes to bed really early or he’d never let me live this night down …

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